I haven't been very social lately. I'm not exactly sure why. lol. I hate going on instant messaging services, I don't reply to some emails (sorry Angel, we talked a bit, lol), I haven't even blogged. I had some work done for my blog but this entry is not the right time to post those things up. So I will postpone that goal I have for now.

I guess it's been way too long... to know.. stuff. Yeah, I guess my "caring" level went way down. I guess that's my excuse? I know, not very good excuse. I just don't want to be in the scene anymore. Someone actually came up to me and asked for advice. I was taken a back when this person said I seem to be very mature... OH MY, total opposite. After I heard that, I prayed so hard that I don't give the wrong advice nor even say anything wrong. So yeah... 

I guess this church thing is coming to me. Church has nothing to do with me, it's all about other people. I guess this whole Christianity thing became too personal to me ~ it shouldn't be. I'm slowly understanding now why we do that whole every Sunday thing, why there's a building full of strangers, and just why God wanted it to be this way. And I'm a bit... scared to do my part. I am way pass the excited part about it. I'm scared to give it all away.

I don't fully remember what I said to that person who asked me for advice. But I don't think I gave that person advice. Because I had nothing to give. I am not any different. I'm glad I had that conversation though... it was God sent.

I remember my cousin once said, "She's not a Christian... when she does things like that? She's not a Christian." And who is he to even say that? (BTW, we were talking about Jessica Simpson. lol) That conversation did not even last a minute but I can't help but remember it. So I guess my cousin says he's a Christian. If I had his mental understanding of what a Christian should be then I guess he's not a Christian either.

A sexually immoral person who says he/she's a Christian is NOT any different from a Christian who lies.

A drug addict who says he/she's a Christian is NOT any different from a Christian who teaches one thing and does another.

An idolater who says he/she's a Christian is NOT any different from a Christian who lusts for material things.

A murderer who says he/she's a Christian is NOT any different from a Christian who dates non-Christians.

A drunkard who says he/she's a Christian is NOT any diiferent from a Christian who uses God's name in vain or swears.

I admit, I've done way more than my part with the judging. I mean, I couldn't help it then... but I never really understood people. I've always said and thought things without understanding. Then I see people do the same thing, I'm disgusted... who was I to say things like that? People have always hated being judged, but they do it themselves. ALL THE TIME. Really now, did you think you're any better? We're the same. Now, it's just ...

I'm scared to know and for people to know. I don't think I have that much love as God to do this church thing. When I start caring as I should be... then I get involved. My life gets involved as well. That's what fellowship is. ANd MAN, that is way too scary for me. I know, I know, I'm being way too selfish.

But I feel you, Lord. I really do. I know what You're saying. I guess I'm just ignoring the "NOW" part of the command.

Oh boy, I'm going to get swallowed by a big fish. lol

I can't post any art stuff. AH! My brother broke Markie's life supply. *sigh* So I won't use it until I buy a new one (charger). I'm pretty mad at my brother but I didn't say anything. I held it in ... which I plan on doing until I get ulcer. HAHA, I keed. But yeah he's not allowed to use anything I own until I am calm down ... inside.

Anyways, summer's been fun so far. As Marielle says, "It's dark time!" Been GALA-ing a lot. At least more than last year. Met new great people and been closer to people I love. Yes, a lot better than working at Timmies. haha!

Oh my parents have been really open with us lately. They tell us things even the things we don't even want to know. It's interesting what adults think of my friends... and "friends." They're not always true but in most cases they know more than we think they do. It's kind of hilarious... and freaky. I think it's good they're this open, at least we can correct some and support some. LOL!

Been playing a new game, also. Talisman Online. It's pretty new still on beta but loving the presence of my friends there. I love the callalily, JFlo, and sHiNKuRo team. At least they don't do AFKs. hahaha! Oh and BTW, I tag those people to do a screenshot of their characters, too. lol

Well, so far so good. Monthly goals are still going on. But there's way too many. =)